MOMS Mothers of Molestation Survivors - After 20 years of counseling molestation survivors and their families, I noticed that there was a huge need for the Mothers and parents of children who were molested to be met. As I researched this population, it became very clear that there was very little information on them and even more, very few resources for them. Yet, when a mother learns that her child has been molested, how she responds affects the healing process for the survivor and family for generations. I decided to do a research study on Mothers whose children were molested, and from the information gathered, I wrote the book. Then, I decided to start the MOMS non-profit and use the book as a resource guide.
- Important Statistics:
- Approximately 4 out of 5 girls are molested before the age of 18
- Approximately 3 out of 5 boys are molested before the age of 18
- Infants are molested in exchange for sexual favors (Department of Justice)
- 85% of women incarcerated were molested
Below is one of the case studies from the book:
I will always remember the February evening that changed my life forever. My life as I knew it would never be the same. We had arrived home from a family vacation with our friends. We went on our annual trip to the mountains over the President’s holiday where we played in the snow, made angels and ate and laughed together. I was tucking my precious young daughter into bed. As I was saying good night, she did something that little girls at her age should never know about. I was shocked, dumbfounded. The room around me spun like I had just gotten off the fastest roller coaster ever made. I stumbled over my words as I tried to calmly ask her what and why she had just done this act. She said, “Daddy does this to me.” Questions were flying through my mind, such as WHAT, WHEN, HOW did this happen? Yet inside I knew there was something true to what she was saying. I can only imagine what it is like when a woman learns that her partner was unfaithful to her. In learning of this infidelity, she doesn’t want to believe it, but in her gut she knows it is true. As I tried to quickly gain my composure, I finished our nightly routine. My sweet daughter looked to me for reassurance, and I quickly comforted her that she was alright and to sleep well.
As I left her bedroom, I marched down the hallway like a solider heading to the frontline of the battleground. I was wondering what to say; I decided to be honest and report to my husband what events had just occurred. When I found him, I explained assertively what had just happened, and again I tried to keep my composure. I will never forget his response, as he turned white as a ghost and was speechless. After more than ten years of marriage, this was probably the first time in all the years I knew him that he was stunned and lost for words. As I continued to question him and demand answers, he denied any involvement in this inappropriate behavior. But, I knew in the deepest part of my being that something desperately wrong had happened between him and my innocent daughter. He was caught in the darkest act known in our society, which no one should have to deal with. After awhile, he started to ask questions about what our daughter revealed, and he wanted to talk to our daughter. I wouldn’t let him approach her, because she was already asleep. He refused to answer any further of my questions. I left the living room to retreat in our bedroom. The shock was as if when I learned a love one had died. I had no one to talk to, nowhere to turn especially this man who I now viewed as a monster. I cried myself into a fitful night of inconsistent sleep while praying to God what to do next. I decided at that moment that I would do anything to protect my daughter from any further harm, and so my journey through this battle began. I can’t say enough times that I knew my life would never be the same.